Are you a good listener?
I met a friend for lunch the other day. She told me what misses most about her dad is that he would listen to all her jibberish all day long without judgment. I thought to myself, what a wonderful gift to give someone. The gift of listening. So, I did some research. Here is how to be a better listener:
Be a whole body listener: (A tip I learned from my kid’s pre-school class).
Face the person you are talking to with your whole body. Make eye contact. Calm your fidgety limbs if you have any and take a deep breath.
Don’t multitask when listening:
When you are listening, you are using your working memory. The thing about working memory is, it can not multitask.
So, for example, if you are listening to someone and your mind wanders into memory retrieval, your listening capacity is diminished. That is when you tend to miss chunks of information.
Set your intention:
You can’t be a good listener all the time. Take a deep breath, set your intention, and minimize interruptions for the next time you intend to be a good listener.
If you struggle to quieten your mind:
If you are preparing answers before the speaker is done talking or thinking of what question to ask next, you are not listening to understand. You are listening to respond.
Building a mindfulness practice of 10 minutes a day will help you learn how to quieten your mind when you need to.
If you keep interrupting people when they talk, read my article here.
Need more help? Hit reply for more tips.
This Week’s Writing Tidbits:
Write what you know. This adds depth and authenticity to your writing.
Don’t know what you know?
Try Morning Pages. Write 3 pages first thing in the morning of whatever comes to your mind. A brain vomit on paper, if you will. This will help you get unstuck and will unravel all your knotted-up ideas.
Learn more about Morning Pages in ‘The Artist’s Way’ by Julia Cameron:
What I’m Reading:
I went all in on researching the topic of ‘listening’ this whole week. It has been a great reminder to myself and improved my professional and personal relationships. Here is what I read:
The Deep Listening Podcast by Oscar Trimboli is a must-listen on this topic. Particularly, they have detailed tips on how to listen better in Zoom meetings. We all need that!
Favorite Quote This Week:
“Writing practice is life practice. Where we get unstuck in our writing, we get unstuck in our lives.” ‘The Power of Writing it Down” By Allison Fallon